Why I still struggle with porn addiction.
On July, 18th, I published a story titled: “How a Porn Addiction Destroyed My Life”, which chronicled in great detail my life-long struggles with porn addiction and depression.
When I wrote that text I expected it to serve as a turning point and a catalyst. After coming clean in public about my addiction, maybe things would change, maybe I would finally beat this old demon for good now, after so many failed attempts.
For almost three months after publishing that story, I was free from porn, altough I still struggled with finding myself masturbating to memories of old pornographic content I used to watch.
But unfortunately there were shortcomings in my commitment to beat this addiction. Out of shame and fear someone from my life would discover that text, I changed my username on this website to a moniker, instead of using my real name. I also deleted my profile picture. I was afraid that someone acquainted with me in my real life would discover my darkest secrets and hence took those measures in an attempt to preserve my privacy.
Inadvertently, maybe because of that, the public commitment I made back then to beat this addiction lost some of its strength. Coincidentally, in the past week, I have relapsed again on several occasions. Maybe I shouldn’t be so afraid of what people think of me.
